Magic and Infinity

This was something I wrote a couple of months ago and I had published it on my tumblr. I think it fits better here though, so I am posting it again.

It has snowed a lot this week. In fact, it has snowed so much that people in certain buildings need help to get out. Two feet or more of white, shiny, cold snow are covering the town, turning the campus into a maxi version of a sugar coated gingerbread house village.

I have not really enjoyed the snow because I have exams and finals coming up and am not under any circumstances planning on getting sick. Yet, tonight, I decided I would go on a walk around campus. So I put on layer over layer of clothing and I went out. I made a first stop at the cafeteria because I had realized I was hungry. Then I set myself to discover the campus under this new light. I have to say that I had never seen anything so beautiful. Regardless of the fact that that I was almost waist deep in the snow and that hoisting myself through it was a struggle at times, I just enjoyed my walk. I tried to go by the paths less travelled by since they were the less slippery ones. I even made it to the soccer field, looked for a remote corner and made a snow angel. During this whole time I had Mumford and Sons’ newest album Babel playing. After making my snow angel and taking a picture of it, I decided to put my whole playlist on shuffle. At first, I did not really notice the songs change. That was until the moment I got to the gymnasium.

Since the day I got here three months ago, I have heard many people talk about going behind the gymnasium and looking over the forest from that area. However, since all the paths were obstructed by the snow, I just stood in a spot that allowed me to look at both the gym and the forest behind it. In that exact moment, Hammock’s Like Starlight Into Day started playing, and for some reason I could not move. I stood very still and looked over the distance, noticing the trees collapsing under the weight of the snow, and far away near the horizon, a greenish turquoise like colour in the sky, whose origin will always be a mystery, made me thing of an aurora borealis. After a little while, I noticed that the wind started to pick up, bringing with it amounts of snow picked up from the roof, reminding me of fairy dust. Then, it started to snow, and I just stood there, looked at the sky and started laughing and crying at the same time. Why did I do that? I don’t know. All I know is that it felt good. It felt good to let out whatever feelings and emotions I had inside. I decided I wanted to listen to that song more than once, so I just put it on repeat, and stayed in that spot for God knows how long. In that moment, right there and then, I looked around me, acknowledging the fact that I was alone, but that did not bother me the least bit. I just started to think about the future, realizing that I did not care whether I was alone or not, as long as I was not lonely.

Now, two hours later, I am in my bed. I have just gotten out of the shower and I think I had plenty of time to think about it. I don’t think I have felt this good in weeks! Somehow, the contact of snow with my skin, made me feel more alive. Looking back now, I think I finally grasp the meaning of the “We were infinite” that Charlie says in The Perks of Being a Wallflower, which I read just this week. Standing there and noticing that change in weather while overlooking a forest makes a person think about how small they are, yet in that small size, we have no limits because we are part of things that are much, much greater and magical than what we think.

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