Pause

I have not done my daily dose of writing in a little while and I have to say I miss it. For some reason, the sunny weather, my constant migraines and frustration, along with sleep deprivation have lead me to ignore everything I like doing. That of course includes writing, reading and my nightly walks.

Now that I’m home, laying on my back and trying to come up with something to write about, I can’t seem to think of anything. In a way, it’s as if my brain was on pause. It processes information but does not necessarily do much with it.

Today I attended a round table about addictions organised by an asssociation I am part of. The guest speaker was rather annoying and nonsensical, I left halfway through the session mainly because I couldn’t stand him anymore but also because I felt like I was about to pass out. However, there is something he said that stuck in my mind. He said something about how the people who sleep a lot, use their computers a lot and watch a lot of series and television are trying to escape. The reason that idea seemed interesting is because I feel like it is one of the very few things he said that had truth in them, if it weren’t the only one. I may not sleep a lot but I read and write quite often. These two things allow me to escape, it’s always been the case. It started with Harry Potter when I was in elementary school and is still the case now that I am in college. Reading a book is like pausing my life.

I am a person who avoids everything. Whenever something is going on in my life that I am not okay with. Some event or fact, I avoid doing anything about it. I overthink, that’s for sure, but I don’t act. The other day one of my friends qualified that as cowardice. I do think it is true, but does that mean I should stop with the avoiding therefor cut down on the reading and writing? I don’t think that can ever happen. Every now and then, I need to pause everything that’s real and live in a world that is not my own. Whether that is just out of habit or because it is a legitimate need, I don’t know, but I am not about to close the only window that allows me to escape once and again. So I’m going back to having my daily pauses, because everyone needs to let go sometimes, and I let go by joining a world that is not my own.

Enough rambling, I’ll just get to my point I guess. I’ll carry on being a coward and escaping everything. You should do the same, find a “pause”. Who knows? You might like it!

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