Expectations

Time for yet another rant. This time it’s about everything we are expected to be or do. We are expected to believe in certain things, act a certain way, do certain things at a certain age and right now, well, I’m tired of all these expectations.

People as a whole, as a society, are the worst. They are hypocritical at their best, down right disdainful at their worst. I think that none of us really know what we want because of how our societies “guide” our decisions. We listen to the opinions of our parents, siblings, friends, and the guy who is always sitting at the corner of the street playing with newly born kittens. These opinions don’t even have to be voiced. We don’t wait to hear what people are going to say, we already know it, a part of us is already repeating it to us because we’ve been brought up that way. Good and bad are but words thrown around by people to define what is convenient and what isn’t. We judge people by what they are “worth”, by how they look, by how they think, by the fact that their opinions differ. We are always talking about how certain people “deserve” better people in a relationship. We turn them from human beings to some sort of object, a prize, a trophy on a pedestal that you have to “win” because every single romantic comedy/drama movie ever made and every single romance book ever written abides by those rules. Play hard to get. Say no to things you really want because of your friends and family and the guy who sells newspapers downtown. Basically, be the girl at the end of the movie who is fragile and ends up in tears but the guy comes in and wipes her tears and kisses her softly while the sun is setting in the background.


Be them basically.

In this society, as long as you’re in school, you’re a kid. You basically do not count and your decisions are dismissed by people before they even blink. I have been thinking these past few days about the fact that I am turning 20 in less than two weeks and I saying “Dang it! People are no longer going to think ‘she’s just a teenager, she doesn’t know what she’s doing'” when I do something wrong. But then I realized that people are gonna think that as long as I don’t have a diploma, a job or probably even a husband. Because it really is hard for a young lady to be taken seriously without those three. We might say that our society is advancing, that women are becoming more independent and they don’t need boyfriends or husbands to define them, but then again, just look around you at any Moroccan wedding you go to. Ridiculous superstitions are basically controlling the actions of all the unmarried women. Drink from this milk, eat those dates, put henna on your hands, even just a finger, so you get lucky and find a husband soon. You know what erks me the most? The fact that even seventeen year olds fresh out of high school and twenty year olds still in college can’t avoid this. If you say no, all hell breaks loose. Why, you may ask? because a young lady is expected to get married and have beautiful little children. Adoption is not an option really, she must have her own kids. And as long as that hasn’t happened, she is not really successful might she be the CEO of the biggest company in the area if she wanted to.

This whole thing makes me think of Pride and Prejudice. Yes, that book again. But not only does it make me think of the expectations and standards society sets, but also the ones we put for ourselves. I for one compare any guy I come across to Darcy. THE Mr. Darcy. THE standard to meet. And obviously, that makes me just as bad as this society I’ve spent 500 words and countless days complaining about already.

I guess I am calling on the bullshit around now. Romantic comedies, Nicholas Sparks, Cecelia Ahern, Jane Austen and J.K. Rowling should no longer be allowed to dictate my life. I should stop expecting to come across Mr. Darcy so bad that I see him in someone who makes me feel like Elizabeth Bennet. Seeing as I am not her, I should not expect to find him. It only makes sens right? I should be allowed to make mistakes without expecting to be scolded about them because one person’s or the whole world’s opinion differs. I should be able to expect the best and worst from people when I want to. I should be able to chose not to get married or have children without listening to people saying I only think that because I am “disappointed, misguided and pessimistic for no reason”. I should be able to hold words and silence at a higher pedestal than actions if I feel like it. I should be able to give people second, third and uptenth chances if I want to. I should be able to love my body no matter my size as long as I feel good and I’m healthy. I should be able to like my curves and little belly if I want to and last but definitely not least, I should be able to be proud of myself when I want to without having to think about other people’s view of me and how they will say I am conceited or arrogant.

In short, I’m telling you screw everything. Screw expectations. As cheesy and phony as it sounds, do what you want. Do what makes you happy without giving two shits about what people tell you to do. You could start by ignoring this conclusion since I’m telling you what to do.

2 thoughts on “Expectations

  1. Hello Nahla ,
    While checking my Facebook this afternoon I noticed a page suggestion “Kipepeo” so I decided to consult it And here I am on this blog.
    I was smiling while reading your article. It is always pleasant for me to see that there’s always people thinking that way. Believe me we’re not much.
    At first, I was impatient to congratulate you for this wonderful article but then I felt like wanting to read more. And that’s what I did once I got back home. I read some of your articles and I really wished that I had discovered your blog much time before.
    I find it really interesting and well written.You just got a new reader :).

    Like

    1. Hi there,

      Thank you so much for your kind words. You have no idea how thrilled they make me. As you might have noticed, I haven’t posted much in a little while, but getting feedback such as this one definitely makes me want to keep up this blog. I hope I don’t disappoint you!

      Like

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